Day 21:11 holding place

Like a black blue spot near the kneecap
It appears as if from a unseen bump during the night
It will take it’s own sweet time to dissipate
This urge to fix, to problem solve for a outcome out of reach
And I felt it again this morning
The heart pain of wanting
A shift and twist trying to take away her suffering and my suffering
And there it is, the very place in which my suffering expands
The not ok with what is
The forgotten moment of simply being with someone hurting
Or with myself hurting
The stories and questions and configuring in my mind how it can all be made right
Stop it
Be here with what is
Listen
Hold
Witness
And it will move on
Like that bruise near my kneecap
Be the healing presence through being
There is nothing more or less than myself that I need to be for anyone
Blessed be.

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Day 20:11 for all the friends

For the ones who know you
almost better than you know yourself
For the ones you care for without question
For the ones who sit with you, hold you, cry with you, howl and fight for you
For the ones who pick you up when your pieces have scattered in every direction
For the ones you want to be your best self with
For the ones who love you at your worst
For the ones who see you as the love you are
Bless all the ones you call friend

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Day 19:11 sunrise blessing

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Long frosted grass swept into swirls crunches underfoot
A pink orange fire lit sky proclaims the beginning day
Fractured triangle shapes create mirrors encasing a pond for the coming winter
Five sharp nailed finger forms fixed in mud leave a message of presence for this one
Blessings of a sunrise walk through the battlefields

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Day 18:11 crying pigeon

the pigeon cried, her left wing unable to spread as she once did

warrior number three fell out of line

the dog went down and up and wanted to curl up like a child

upside down the skin between these breasts hang like a long loved tee

I will pay for the planks tomorrow

on my belly I press my feet into a deep bend towards my knees

releasing a groan of horror at the distance they will not travel

when did the front of my thighs become taut sails on a screaming boat

only the corpse found silence and release

is this the blessing of knowing it can only get better from here

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Day 17:11 blessing at the cash register

Bless the woman at the register
A bright smile for every customer
Fuchsia eye shadow highlighting her inner light
The way she claimed me as her child while I purchased a morning coffee
Letting me know she’s the mother to many who pass through

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Day 16:11 skipping and blessing

So I skipped a day of blessing
So bless me for not beating myself up over it
And blessings for getting back on the horse and not throwing in the towel
And blessings for the grumblings and shifting focus throughout my days
And blessing for admitting to myself this is hard to keep up with
And blessings for feeling I’ve got nothing and still doing anyway
And blessings for being committed to being in the fullness and emptiness of life
Blessings for showing up again.

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Day 15:11 never too late

the day got away from me

busy busy work work

over thinking

making complications

where simplicity is desired

call a friend

ask for help

keep it simple

be glad for deciding

and move on

I’m learning the blessing

of thorough research

and consideration of choices

and knowing when

I’m overwhelmed

and time to stop

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Day 14:11 give thanks

As I lay here ready for sleep I give thanks for the companionship and welcoming from a friend. I give thanks for time with my extended family who I don’t see as often as I wish. I give thanks for a smooth and safe ride home. I give thanks for the loving embrace from my husband upon my return. I bless all the good that I am graced with in the last 48 hours. And bless the cold drenching rain and the grumblings and misunderstandings too. For they are all a part of life and an opportunity for awakening, presence and forgiveness.

“May you start your day with love,fill your day with love, and end your day with love.”

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Day 13:11 Black Lives Matter

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There was an uncomfortable exchange at lunch today.
I’m feeling sad hearing an entire group of people stereotyped.
I don’t know what to do but speak out and say it’s not okay for me to remain silent and thereby help to perpetuate demeaning and disrespectful beliefs.
I am a white person.
And I am struggling to understand what I can do to help bring about a more just world for all people.
I don’t know what it’s like to have to teach my son how to stay safe in a world that sees him as a threat.
I feel deep sadness and compassion for the women I know who have to tell their sons this is their reality.
I grew up Jewish in a Christian community but have the choice to keep that difference hidden if I so chose.
That is not a black persons option.
I am speaking up knowing I live with the benefits of white privilege.
Black lives matter.
This is my blessing for today.

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Day 12:11 into the streets

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Stepped out after dinner
Protestors marching up 14th
Chanting off the sidewalk,
Into the street.
Bless them all and keep them safe
Every life matters

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